The Begining's End - And we think wasps are pointless little creatures

1

The Beginning's End

'Come! Come, my putrefied bedfellows!' cries Beelzebub from the maggot-infested pits of hell. 'Come and feast your eyes on a true abomination!'

            'What is it, oh repugnant one?' A gnarled claw reaches out to protect eyeless sockets from a flash of blinding light.

            'That nitwit God is up to his high-jinx sorcery ... again. Won't he ever learn that evil  will always prevail?' Beelzebub strokes a curled talon across his brimstone horn, sending sparks dancing. 'It is only you, Hector, who comes when I command?'

            Under a shower of shimmering rainbows, Hector's charred feet tappety-tap-tap across glowing coals as he scuttles to his master's side. 'The others, sire, I fear, are more interested in imbibing fire-water at The Grim Reaper's Palace.'

            'Is that so, my cankerous little bag of pus? I SHALL DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!'

            'Um, Sire, I think you'll find that you have already.'

            'Yes, yes. Hector. What if they knew that The Reaper's fire-water is a reduction of his very own piss? It might not be quite so quaffable, eh, Hector? But what is this monstrous creation? It hangs above us like that blasted Polaris, casting its filthy light into every crevasse. And what is that I see on it? It's not ...'

            'It is, sire!' Hector's cackle of glee rattles through the burned bones of his ribs. 'It's them humans. They're so - so gullible!'

            'In the name of festering pustules, God is an even bigger numbskull than I thought.'

            'Shall I fetch Bert and Betsie? Oh do let's, Great Lord of Putridness, I could greatly do with a laugh.'

            Beelzebub shifts from hoof to hoof. 'Dragons are sooooo last season, Hector! Unleash Edna. Let's see how his minions fare against the most iniquitous of beasts.'

            'Sire, you are too cruel! The evilness of Edna is unsurpassed! Mwwwwahahaha!'

                                                                        *

'Wreak havoc and mayhem, my beauty. Bring death and destruction. Annihilate this monstrosity and you shall be rewarded with as much caterpillar blood as you can drink.' 

            'Bzzzzzzzz.' Edna's wings whine through the ether as she flies upwards, the lancet of her stinger glinting in its glorious sharpness.

                                                                        *

'Sire, pray tell how Edna progresses?'

            'Well, well, my pernicious parasite. I see the fairer sex, woman, a naked woman hur-hur bar a fig leaf over her whatsits. Eve is her name. She is darting this way and that with her hands in the air - running in circles, I tell you! Edna is in hot pursuit, stinger at the ready. The woman's mate is joining in now. A man, Adam - not much in the way of nether regions. I've seen bigger worms wriggling out of your weeping flesh. He is swatting and swiping at Edna with his hands and yet she persists in the chase. Oh, oh, she's going in ... BULLSEYE! Right on Eve's arse cheek! Now the woman is making water with her eyes. Adam is plucking a strange looking fruit from a bush, he is giving it to Eve. She's smiling as she takes a great big bite...'

                                                                        *         

A thrum fills the pits of hell.

            'Sire is that Edna returned? Surely her work is not done already? One miserable, teeny, weeny, piss-ant little sting?'

            Beelzebub smiles. 'Hector, you have much to learn. These humans, you see, in no time at all, will destroy their world and everything in it. It has already begun. Who said wasps were pointless creatures? Isn't that right, Edna?'

            'Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.'